These are comedians. They look a bit weird when they're not on stage, don't they? Like they're normal or something. Neil Edmond, of the mighty Consultants (get some radio knowledge you ignorant wastrels) hasn't been to a festival before and he keeps deciding to go home. Celebrity pop accordionist Martin White probably has been to a festival before, but it's still quite early and the train was crap. Which is why he's poking himself in the eye. God, where's the shuttle bus? Oh, here it is and it's bloody tiny. Well done Latitude. We buy some cheap Cola substitute from two old biddies in the marvellous Norris stores down the road (it sells everything. You find cat food next to CDs.) which explodes in a pissy little spray. Neil rescues it with some industrial tape from the depths of his suitcase. There is no reason for having tape that we can think of, but the man has been organised enough to bring a suitcase so we're not going to argue. Crap, it's only 12 and we're already knackered. Bring on the bands.