Oh. God. No. What is it with popsicles and their celebrity boyfriends literally muscling in on the act? Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle almost made us faint when she managed to bag herself a proper US sleb (well, he was, sort of. Once.) in Desperate Housewives's Jesse Metcalfe, and now festival 'insiders' have told The Sun that a duet is planned at V Festival. For those of you who aren't addicted to Desperate Housewives, we have included a picture of Jesse for purely illustrative purposes, naturally. Ahem.

Before you start panicking about the damage this could do your ears, this will only be for fellow slebs (and sneaky hacks we hope) in the backstage lounge. "Girls Aloud are playing on stage and Jesse is coming along to support Nadine," says an insider. "We heard Jesse is a bit of a whizz on the guitar so we've invited them to do an acoustic duet in the Virgin Mobile Louder Lounge." That 'insider' wouldn't be Jesse's PR would it? Sycophant city. Wonder if we can persuade them to do 'Where The Wild Roses Grow...'